Lifestyles of the rich and fugly

I would like for someone to explain to me the love of crap with logos splashed all over it. I'm not talking about the small tasteful tag on a purse or the detailing on an item of clothing, but the pants that have "CC" interlocked in a happy dance from waist to toe, merrily marching across your ass proclaiming your love of high end couture. Or if you want to be extra hideous, you can have the logo pants, and the shirt, the belt, the bag, and the sunglasses. I love that people pay extravagant sums to be a billboard for a brand that would laugh themselves into oblivion if they actually saw someone indulging in such blatant overkill, the fashion equivalent of binging.

I have nothing against expensive items. I own many of them myself (in my case, limited to purses and shoes, the refuge to which the fat fashionista must flee when a size 6 or below just isn't happening.) I love the quality and cut, the timelessness in many cases, and I don't mind paying for it. But it's not about the status, it's about the quality. At least for me, though I can't say the same for anyone who would actually show up to the gym in the pictured athletic  shoes covered in Gucci brocade. Aside from being ugly, it's just..well...stupid. Out of context. You want the best running shoes the world has to offer, you look to Nike or Saucony, not Jean Paul Gaultier.

This is the reason I don't own a Louis Vuitton bag. I actually like them and think they are well made, and a lot of them are cute; I really did like the updated white pattern when it was first unveiled, but it's gotten really out of control. Once I see someone in Target with Britney hair and sweatpants and a Louis Vuitton bag, it's all over. I mean, really. So much for exclusivity. Or those people who have a ratty corduroy bag and pull out a LV keychain because it's all they can afford, but they really, really want ONE LV item. I don't get it. It doesn't match. It looks grasping. It's almost as bad as the poseurs who buy knock-offs, which I really truly don't get. The whole point is that you can supposedly afford the nicest, most well constructed item out there and it's falling apart at the vinyl seams. Buy the best you can afford and be proud of it. I would SO rather have a well made Kenneth Cole from Macy's, or even Marshalls, than some piece of crap fake from Shanghai. But that's just me.

In the high end world of luxury goods where status is based on the idea of exclusivity, it's actually the kiss of death to become too popular (see Hilfiger, Tommy). The whole allure of having something exclusive loses its allure when it becomes suddenly common, which has happened not only to Vuitton but to Burberry, as anyone who has walked around in a big city can attest. So what's a girl to do? How do you avoid the trap of looking like a overly trend conscious lemming? BUY WHAT YOU LIKE, not what you think you should like. If you have reasonably good taste you will end up staying current without looking like, well, a loser. With $400 Coach toilet paper. And if what you like is something hideous, hey, at least you're being true to yourself, which is preferable to being true to what you're being told to be true to. And if being true to yourself and your vision truly does involve dressing in head to toe logowear like a bloated fashion impaired catalogue come to life, well God bless you, because it gives me something to be entertained by on a rainy day.